The Art Of Play
By Ms. Pam
One way I relate to the conception, the
creation and the dynamic of a successful play scene is as an artistic
creation. I see myself as the artist, the driver of the creation, with
particular ideas, idiosyncrasies, and preferences.
The submissive is the medium with which I
design the art. I see this medium as a form of a canvas... not a bland,
white, neutral canvas, but a canvas with textures; coarseness here,
smoothness there, with shades, and with edges. The canvas has to be one
that is in alignment with my style.
If the canvas has too much coarseness, it
might not hold the vision of my design of the scene. If the canvas has
too much smoothness, it might not be able to handle the intensity of the
color of my play. If the canvas has its own colors on it, they might not
blend with the colors I choose to use.
I have a variety of tools to I enjoy
using, and a variety of agendas for a scene. My choice of a partner
would depend on the result I desire. If I want to create a soft, warm,
sensual scene, I'd certainly choose a woman.
If I want an intense, vibrant scene of
control and edge-play, I'd choose someone I know enjoys that kind of
play; one who will trust me to take them to MY edges, and who I trust to
be willing to surrender himself to me totally.
The type of canvas that an individual is
will change, often dramatically, from one play scene to another. It is
determined by where they are at that moment... The canvas that a person
is when they first begin to play is dramatically different from the
canvas they are after playing for a few months or years. Experiences and
traumas will have an impact on the type of canvas a person is.
Here are examples of some of the canvases
it's been my pleasure to create with: The canvas was a beautiful young
woman, new to the scene. She was participating in a demo with me, and
was very anxious about what was going to happen. My assurances that she
would enjoy herself went unheeded, until we began to play. She offered
me trust and submission, in spite of her fears and anxiety. As we
played, I was careful to avoid pushing her too hard, or going too fast.
I wanted to enjoy her enjoying what I was doing. And I certainly enjoyed
her responses, as did those who were watching the demo.
The canvas was a man who had many years
of experience playing with an assortment of dominant women. He dreamed
about having a s/m relationship. He wondered if I was capable of the
kind of sadistic play he craved. He offered me an opportunity to explore
more deeply into the realm of my sadism as well as to experiment with
the idea of a contracted relationship. We took the scenes to the edges
of where we both could play.
The canvas was a man I had played with
often. He was a serious masochist who enjoyed restrictive bondage and
severe pain. Together, we designed and built a sculpture of sensation,
pain, and intensity through the use of clamps, restriction and needles.
The specter of the sculpture seemed to captivate him far more severely
than any of the iron or leather or ropes that were used to restrict his
The canvas was a young man who had been
in the scene for a while. He enjoyed being flogged and dominated, though
he did want to maintain a certain amount of control. He was able to
assume a totally submissive nature, even while requesting that control.
One particularly memorable scene involved virtually no pain, but severe
intensity. Before the scene, I'd shown him a video that I thought he
would enjoy. There was one scene in the video that he focused on. As we
played, the video was the furthest thing from my mind. However, I
inadvertently made a statement that made him think what happened in the
video was going to happen to him. In spite of his instant and intense
fear, he continued to stay in the scene, to the enjoyment of both of us.
The canvas was a lovely, young woman who
was well in touch with her own sensuality. We engaged in primarily
sensation play, both of us delighting in the many exciting aspects of
her body. Although I wasn't playing sexually with her, there were
definite sensual overtones to the way I played with her body. Her energy
built, and she manifested the sexuality that she is, and as she reached
a crescendo, she filled the room with intense, palpable, sexual energy.
Sometimes, the design of the play is
dictated by circumstances. Often, it is dictated by the limits of either
the dominant or the submissive. I find it difficult to play with those
who have narrow edges, who want to control or direct the play, or who
This isn't about experience or depth of
play... I have had many novice submissive's surrender to me even though
they were frightened. I've also played with a submissive who had
recently dealt with a major trauma, and it was appropriate to have her
direct the scene. I've also met experienced submissive's who need to
direct the scenes they are in. And I suggest to them that they find
someone else to play with. There are a lot of aspects of play that
delight other people, but hold no fascination for me; humiliation play,
playing sexually, water sports, etc. I do enjoy playing with s.a.m.'s if
they are humorous. I like those who are passive-aggressive in their play
because I will put them in their place.
I ALWAYS respect safe-words, but I don't like to be argued with or
questioned in a scene.
I require surrender... always within the
boundaries of the negotiations... but surrender nevertheless. I require
trust... both from the submissive and toward the submissive. I enjoy
edge-play, taking the submissive to what they think is the limit, then
pushing a little further. I enjoy playing with sensation and finding new
ways to torment and stimulate a submissive. I enjoy playing with
novices... taking them into the never-place and watching over them while
they explore the new territory. Each type of play requires a different
kind of canvas... and each is equally pleasurable for me.